By Deacon Peter McCulloch
75th Wedding Anniversaries are rare these days, but that’s what my parents, Esmé aged 101 and Gerald McCulloch, aged 97, recently celebrated.
They married on 18 July 1943 at Little St Saviour’s Church in Ealing, West London. It was during the war and their families saved up their food ration cards to provide for a small wedding reception afterwards.
Gerald was 20 when he first noticed Esmé at the St Saviour’s Parish dance in December 1940. On the bus home he asked if he could walk her to her door. Esmé was surprised, but said yes for she thought he looked like a nice young man.
Their relationship developed through letter writing more than dating, because Gerald’s mining engineering studies and the war itself made life difficult in London. He was not allowed to serve in the army because as a mining engineer he was in a ‘protected occupation’.
Only weeks after their wedding, Gerald reluctantly left Esmé behind in London to work in a West African gold mine. They reunited 14 months later and had two sons before migrating to South Africa in 1948. There, Gerald worked in asbestos and diamond mines and another five children were born, including me.
In 1962, Gerald’s work took him and the family to India, and three years later we all migrated to Australia. “Australia has been very good to us”, says Gerald.
The family has grown significantly. From their seven children they now have 18 grandchildren and 16 great-grandchildren, with another boy due in August.
So, why has their marriage been so successful?
Esmé and Gerald agree that it’s important to be good friends, with common interests and a similar outlook on life. They also say that it’s important to attend to the little things, so that the other always knows how much they are loved.
“But the secret is to always be close to God,” says Esmé. “God is an equal partner in our marriage. From the beginning Gerald and I have been actively involved in the Church, and we put our lives in God's hands even before we were married. He has always looked after us.”
She adds, “We’ve always loved each other in the most beautiful way. I feel a light inside me whenever I think about our marriage. And our children have been the most wonderful gift.”
Gerald agrees, and says, “God realised long ago that one person alone is incomplete, and that’s why he gave us marriage. However you interpret the story of Adam and Eve, you can see that by themselves they were incomplete. And even as a couple they were incomplete until they had children.
“God in his Trinity is a community of love, and that’s why he gave us marriage. He wants our lives to be filled with a community of love, too.”
“We know that God has been looking after us,” says Esmé. “We’ve had some difficult times, but he’s helped us through.”
“We don’t always realise it, but God is always working in our lives,” adds Gerald. “We really haven’t had to make many decisions, because he’s always working things out for us. Everything is fine in the end, and over our long years we’ve proved it.
“But often things happen in God’s way, and not our way, it’s important to recognise that.
“Relying on God has given us peace and inner strength. Fiat voluntas tua – thy will be done. That’s what Jesus did. He obeyed his Father and he didn’t have an easy life, but everything worked out well.”
“I know I’m old,” says Esme, ‘but I don’t feel old. My family keeps me young and full of life. Our love and our hard work has paid off, and we’re still very happy together after 75 wonderful years.”